So Sunday is Iceland day...we're going to reclaim our investments and take back some of the fish they've half-inched, meanwhile reminding them that once upon a time the island was completely forested, but they cut down all the trees and single-handedly created global warming.
Try as I might I've not been able to find out whether their volcano is still smoking, or whether it's given up for an extended Lent. And are the Northern Lights still switched on after some unusual sun activity? No one's telling us. We've plotted our route on Google maps...but what we don't know is how long it takes to drive from point A to point B to point C to point D to point E to point F to point G..so we'll take marmite sandwhiches just in case...we don't want any of that dodgy smoked shark they proffer.
In the office I have handed over all the things I should have done this week instead of flouncing off to Brighton for a couple of days And anything I've forgotten to pass over will doubtless crawl out of the woodwork and create havoc which had better be sorted by the time I'm back or else.
The Boy has laid out all his clothes on the floor ready for packing. Come to think of it, they're always laid out on the floor. The Cat and The Cat's Mum are still sunning themselves in Italy so they'll have a mountain of washing up to do when they arrive back tomorrow.
I'd like to try and post some pics of our Northern Adventure whilst I'm away, but am afeared that data charges will mean I'll need to take out yet another mortgage...and to be honest I have more than enough of those already....
Friday, 20 August 2010
Thursday, 19 August 2010
A question of freedom of speech
Towards the end of last year, I posted a blog entry which merely repeated some correspondence that I'd had with a former tenant. I'd been asked by the council for his details as they felt he owed them council tax, and I provided those details. For that I was subjected to a torrent of abuse and threats. I wrote about it as it was one of those episodes in life that are memorable and even terrifying and I'd been shocked by how someone could behave.
I'd forgotten about it until today, when I received two emails from him demanding I remove the post and all traces of it. It goes against the grain...after all I was doing no more than report something that had happened. It was entirely factual. I don't think I did anymore than a newspaper, or the BBC could do. But as a gesture, I've edited it to remove the name and contact details. I've no idea whether this is sufficient.
But the point is, this is re-writing history, changing a report of something that actually happened. That's what Orwell wrote about, that's what totalitarian regimes do. This person doesn't want the world to know what he's really like. That seems dangerous to me.
I'd forgotten about it until today, when I received two emails from him demanding I remove the post and all traces of it. It goes against the grain...after all I was doing no more than report something that had happened. It was entirely factual. I don't think I did anymore than a newspaper, or the BBC could do. But as a gesture, I've edited it to remove the name and contact details. I've no idea whether this is sufficient.
But the point is, this is re-writing history, changing a report of something that actually happened. That's what Orwell wrote about, that's what totalitarian regimes do. This person doesn't want the world to know what he's really like. That seems dangerous to me.
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
Tara's gallery - a memory
So Tara set a tricky one this week...a memory. Of course, all photos are a memory, so choosing just one has been the challenge. I decided to pick this one though...
...everything in it is just a memory.
This was our 'wedding photo' taken in a photobooth in Victoria Station after we'd traveled up from Brighton. We'd married in Hove Town Hall just 99 days after first meeting - our two witnesses, Uncle Bazzer and Nial had been late and we thought we'd have to borrow a couple of witnesses from the next wedding...but they did just get there. We'd breakfasted at The Grand on the seafront having been picked up in a white taxi. On the train, the ticket inspector went on the tannoy to announce to everyone and wish us luck...and then we piled off, a little the worse for wear after lots of champagne. It was a brilliant day...of course it was wedding days are.
Uncle Bazzer had many claims to fame - he was chosen to join East 17, or was it Boyzone...my memory fades...but he decided against it...it was his Beatles moment. And he once had to put sellotape on Kylie Minogues nipples during a video shoot because they stuck out too far. He was the most unreliable person I've ever known, completely child like. We've lost touch now, so he's just a memory.
Nial was more serious and very bright. He became increasingly unable to travel, and years down the road he didn't travel to The Boy's Mum's funeral. That was a real shame. We don't see him anymore.
We stayed married for just five years and five days. So the marriage is just a memory...a good one - it was quite a rollercoaster, but eventually came off the rails.
The Boys Mum died suddenly from an aneurysm whilst on business in Ireland a few years later. Changing The Boys destiny, changing my life in very positive ways.
So this picture is full of good, happy memories...and from it many things have flowed.
...everything in it is just a memory.
This was our 'wedding photo' taken in a photobooth in Victoria Station after we'd traveled up from Brighton. We'd married in Hove Town Hall just 99 days after first meeting - our two witnesses, Uncle Bazzer and Nial had been late and we thought we'd have to borrow a couple of witnesses from the next wedding...but they did just get there. We'd breakfasted at The Grand on the seafront having been picked up in a white taxi. On the train, the ticket inspector went on the tannoy to announce to everyone and wish us luck...and then we piled off, a little the worse for wear after lots of champagne. It was a brilliant day...of course it was wedding days are.
Uncle Bazzer had many claims to fame - he was chosen to join East 17, or was it Boyzone...my memory fades...but he decided against it...it was his Beatles moment. And he once had to put sellotape on Kylie Minogues nipples during a video shoot because they stuck out too far. He was the most unreliable person I've ever known, completely child like. We've lost touch now, so he's just a memory.
Nial was more serious and very bright. He became increasingly unable to travel, and years down the road he didn't travel to The Boy's Mum's funeral. That was a real shame. We don't see him anymore.
We stayed married for just five years and five days. So the marriage is just a memory...a good one - it was quite a rollercoaster, but eventually came off the rails.
The Boys Mum died suddenly from an aneurysm whilst on business in Ireland a few years later. Changing The Boys destiny, changing my life in very positive ways.
So this picture is full of good, happy memories...and from it many things have flowed.
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
Whilst The Cat's away.....
Boys will be boys, and we feel it is incumbent on us to do boy things:
1. All the loo seats are being left up
2. The beds are unmade
3. Washing up...it's too much effort to load the dishwasher isn't it, really?
4. Non-stop Top Gear and Gadget Show on the TV
5. Dinner - ready meals from the garage
6. Breakfast - ready meals from the garage
7. Lunch - Ginsters Cornish Pasty from the garage for variety
8. All meals - eaten in front of the TV
9. Dirty clothes - left on the floor by the bed
10. Lights left on in every room
11. Snacks...empty crisp packets and sweet wrappers left across the floor of the sitting room
12. The top has been left off the toothpaste...which has been squeezed in the middle
13. Wet towels left on the bed
14. Music turned up loud so we can hear it...even when we're upstairs
15. We've borrowed a dog which sleeps on the sofa after a long walk in the muddy forest
16. We've stopped worrying about whether anyone is going to check the 'history' on our web browsers
17. Scatter cushions have been, well, scattered...because we don't know what they're for
18. The beer stock is declining rapidly
19. As is the wine and whisky stock
20. I've had to draw the line at The Boy bringing the motorbike into the living room to clean it...but only because we can't get it up the steps...
If you've any ideas of how we can maintain our testosterone levels....just let me know.....
1. All the loo seats are being left up
2. The beds are unmade
3. Washing up...it's too much effort to load the dishwasher isn't it, really?
4. Non-stop Top Gear and Gadget Show on the TV
5. Dinner - ready meals from the garage
6. Breakfast - ready meals from the garage
7. Lunch - Ginsters Cornish Pasty from the garage for variety
8. All meals - eaten in front of the TV
9. Dirty clothes - left on the floor by the bed
10. Lights left on in every room
11. Snacks...empty crisp packets and sweet wrappers left across the floor of the sitting room
12. The top has been left off the toothpaste...which has been squeezed in the middle
13. Wet towels left on the bed
14. Music turned up loud so we can hear it...even when we're upstairs
15. We've borrowed a dog which sleeps on the sofa after a long walk in the muddy forest
16. We've stopped worrying about whether anyone is going to check the 'history' on our web browsers
17. Scatter cushions have been, well, scattered...because we don't know what they're for
18. The beer stock is declining rapidly
19. As is the wine and whisky stock
20. I've had to draw the line at The Boy bringing the motorbike into the living room to clean it...but only because we can't get it up the steps...
If you've any ideas of how we can maintain our testosterone levels....just let me know.....
Monday, 16 August 2010
Happy Christmas!
'tis the season to be jolly...jingle bells, jingle bells, Good King Wenceslas, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, I wish it could be Christmas everyday, etc,etc.
The Boy and I went out for dinner last night...and, lucky us, look what was on our table...we spent hours trying to decide what we wanted:
Tomorrow, I'll be writing about Easter Eggs.
In the meantime, if you want to know how we spent our Saturday look here
And here is the autograph...I can't tell you how chuffed I am with that...the band is just phenomenal, and were on top form. I'm not sure if I'm too old to be asking for autographs...but hey, who cares? Turin Brakes is the first band I took The Boy to - we saw them at Somerset House when he was about waist height , and he's never looked back. It's no wonder he plays the guitar
The Boy and I went out for dinner last night...and, lucky us, look what was on our table...we spent hours trying to decide what we wanted:
Tomorrow, I'll be writing about Easter Eggs.
In the meantime, if you want to know how we spent our Saturday look here
And here is the autograph...I can't tell you how chuffed I am with that...the band is just phenomenal, and were on top form. I'm not sure if I'm too old to be asking for autographs...but hey, who cares? Turin Brakes is the first band I took The Boy to - we saw them at Somerset House when he was about waist height , and he's never looked back. It's no wonder he plays the guitar
Sunday, 15 August 2010
You can live forever on Facebook
Some of us are destined to live to a ripe old age, where as others are good.
The Boys Mum was the sort of person that burned the candle at both ends ...and in the middle too. So in 42 years managed to cram in more than most people twice her age.
When I was at school, in the fourth year a 'new boy' joined. We got on quite well, but thirty years down the road the details are hazy. I do remember we sat next to each other in geography...I think we were quite competitive on that subject.
Inevitably, once we left school we lost touch and once upon a time that would have been it. Friendships come and go, and like most men we were quite careless with ours. I dropped out of contact with just about all my school friends until about ten years ago. Friendsreunited did what it said on the tin...and some of us from the boarding house met up again. It was a strange experience sitting round a table with a bunch of middle-aged men who had little in common anymore. As usual our initial meetings were slightly awkward as some had been remarkably successful, others had followed a path of career mediocrity. But after a while old friendships were properly renewed, and we've met regularly since.
With other friends, their paths had taken them away to foreign places. Facebook provided a way to renew acquaintances even though this would never be quite the same as a chat over a beer. Ian was one such friend, and as with many Facebook friends, we kept vaguely in touch. Earlier this year, the dreaded word 'chemotherapy' was mentioned and then little more, apart from a few Farmville postings.
In early August, Ian's brother posted a note to say that Ian was no 'longer with us' but that his Facebook page would stay as a tribute to "a wonderful person, father, husband, son and brother".
It's a strange and difficult concept for me to grasp that someone of my age dies, but such are the twists and turns of fate. And as another friend said, it makes you appreciate your own good health.
I didn't know too much about Ian's life...but I hope he managed to live it to the full in experience if not in years.
The Boys Mum was the sort of person that burned the candle at both ends ...and in the middle too. So in 42 years managed to cram in more than most people twice her age.
When I was at school, in the fourth year a 'new boy' joined. We got on quite well, but thirty years down the road the details are hazy. I do remember we sat next to each other in geography...I think we were quite competitive on that subject.
Inevitably, once we left school we lost touch and once upon a time that would have been it. Friendships come and go, and like most men we were quite careless with ours. I dropped out of contact with just about all my school friends until about ten years ago. Friendsreunited did what it said on the tin...and some of us from the boarding house met up again. It was a strange experience sitting round a table with a bunch of middle-aged men who had little in common anymore. As usual our initial meetings were slightly awkward as some had been remarkably successful, others had followed a path of career mediocrity. But after a while old friendships were properly renewed, and we've met regularly since.
With other friends, their paths had taken them away to foreign places. Facebook provided a way to renew acquaintances even though this would never be quite the same as a chat over a beer. Ian was one such friend, and as with many Facebook friends, we kept vaguely in touch. Earlier this year, the dreaded word 'chemotherapy' was mentioned and then little more, apart from a few Farmville postings.
In early August, Ian's brother posted a note to say that Ian was no 'longer with us' but that his Facebook page would stay as a tribute to "a wonderful person, father, husband, son and brother".
It's a strange and difficult concept for me to grasp that someone of my age dies, but such are the twists and turns of fate. And as another friend said, it makes you appreciate your own good health.
I didn't know too much about Ian's life...but I hope he managed to live it to the full in experience if not in years.
Friday, 13 August 2010
We're all going on a summer holiday...but not quite yet
Fire and ice
For the last gazillion years, I've taken a couple of weeks holiday in the summer...I don't think I'm too peculiar in that. Usually, it's the last two weeks of August, with one week taken in Brighton, and one week else where...last year we headed to Bavaria for a bit of beer and leather trouser action. This year is more complex as we're now four. I may have mentioned that a couple of weeks ago, The Cat and The Cat's Mum headed to New York, whilst the boy was variously adventurous training and exchanging in Germany. I was home alone. And none to pleased about it. Next week The Cat and The Cat's Mum have organised to go to Italy, whilst The Boy and I remain in little England. Our holiday...the four of us will be the following week in Iceland, which we're very much looking forward to. But the net result is that I won't be getting my two weeks holiday (as we're rapidly running out of school holiday to fit it into) and I'm pretty grumpy about it - oh my word that's the second grumpy reference in the space of a week.
I've no idea whether I'm being reasonable in my thinking, but just can't quite get my head around not having the full fortnight which I feel I need...and thought we'd get. So it's been tense....
Anyway, assuming the only eruption we get in Iceland is from Eyjafjallajokull, it should be a very splendid trip indeed. The Boy and I have been there before, but restricted ourselves to the environs of Rekjavik...still managing to see whales, glaciers, Blue Lagoons, geysers and waterfalls and have wanted to return ever since. This time we've hired a car and will be driving round the entire island. I haven't yet been able to find out if there's still smoke coming from the volcano, but I hope so...and the Northern Lights have been very active...fingers crossed. We may skip the whale watching as it really only resulted in feeling hideously sea sick, but we have plenty more to see and taste...smoked shark will be on the menu. Hopefully I won't have to worry about a young boy who decides whatever I do that it's a good idea to run around on a glacier which is peppered with large deep holes which take you down into the icy depths...actually at this age he's more likely to want to climb down them....
In the meantime, I'm going to take a couple of days in Brighton the middle of next week, before coming back to finish off the work I probably should have done this week!
For the last gazillion years, I've taken a couple of weeks holiday in the summer...I don't think I'm too peculiar in that. Usually, it's the last two weeks of August, with one week taken in Brighton, and one week else where...last year we headed to Bavaria for a bit of beer and leather trouser action. This year is more complex as we're now four. I may have mentioned that a couple of weeks ago, The Cat and The Cat's Mum headed to New York, whilst the boy was variously adventurous training and exchanging in Germany. I was home alone. And none to pleased about it. Next week The Cat and The Cat's Mum have organised to go to Italy, whilst The Boy and I remain in little England. Our holiday...the four of us will be the following week in Iceland, which we're very much looking forward to. But the net result is that I won't be getting my two weeks holiday (as we're rapidly running out of school holiday to fit it into) and I'm pretty grumpy about it - oh my word that's the second grumpy reference in the space of a week.
I've no idea whether I'm being reasonable in my thinking, but just can't quite get my head around not having the full fortnight which I feel I need...and thought we'd get. So it's been tense....
Anyway, assuming the only eruption we get in Iceland is from Eyjafjallajokull, it should be a very splendid trip indeed. The Boy and I have been there before, but restricted ourselves to the environs of Rekjavik...still managing to see whales, glaciers, Blue Lagoons, geysers and waterfalls and have wanted to return ever since. This time we've hired a car and will be driving round the entire island. I haven't yet been able to find out if there's still smoke coming from the volcano, but I hope so...and the Northern Lights have been very active...fingers crossed. We may skip the whale watching as it really only resulted in feeling hideously sea sick, but we have plenty more to see and taste...smoked shark will be on the menu. Hopefully I won't have to worry about a young boy who decides whatever I do that it's a good idea to run around on a glacier which is peppered with large deep holes which take you down into the icy depths...actually at this age he's more likely to want to climb down them....
In the meantime, I'm going to take a couple of days in Brighton the middle of next week, before coming back to finish off the work I probably should have done this week!
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Action man
I wonder if The Boy will grow up with any political heroes? Even at a young age, I realsied that our political leaders were not of the same calibre as Churchill, or Disraeli or Gladstone, and these days they're nothing more than middle-rank managers. For a while it looked like Blair would be a great, but he turned into a lying murderous war-monger who achieved nothing of any value on the domestic stage either. I suspect that history will eventually look kindly on Thatcher...she was a charismatic leader who made great changes. What a shame I can't think of a thing she did that I agree with..
Away from the UK, it's equally hard to find political leaders of any real stature. Obama stands out as much because of his atrocious predecessor as his rhetoric; ultimately he may well turn out to be another Blair. On the European stage, Merkel has seems a good leader, but hasn't got the presence, Sarkozy is a populist and Berlusconi is a joke everywhere except Italy. No wonder The Boy and his generation struggle to find inspiration from our political leaders.
South America has some interesting characters - Chavez, Morales and now Santos all lead in a continent that has a history of political idols.
But my favourite is Vladimir Putin. And not just because I bear a pasing resemblence to him as I showed here.
He's everything that a Russian leader should be (to an outsider anyway) and has done much to restore Russia's pride and confidence in itself. At uni, I studied Soviet government and it remained a mystery from the start of my course until the end. And the same is true now with Russia. Nominally a democracy, voting is probably not quite as free and fair as it should be...but equally the people end up with the leaders they want. How Putin moved from being President to Prime Minister is an interesting study in the complexities of political manouvering in a deeply complex system. His successor, Medvedev was refered to as a dwarf by several of the Russians we spoke with when we visited. I'm sure Mr Putin is as flawed as anyone, but his action hero antics are fantastic especially when seen in the light of the grey-suited behaviour of other global leaders.
As seen in this video
Or this one:
Or here
At least you know where you stand with him...say the wrong thing and you're likely to end up with a dose of radiation in your coffee....
Away from the UK, it's equally hard to find political leaders of any real stature. Obama stands out as much because of his atrocious predecessor as his rhetoric; ultimately he may well turn out to be another Blair. On the European stage, Merkel has seems a good leader, but hasn't got the presence, Sarkozy is a populist and Berlusconi is a joke everywhere except Italy. No wonder The Boy and his generation struggle to find inspiration from our political leaders.
South America has some interesting characters - Chavez, Morales and now Santos all lead in a continent that has a history of political idols.
But my favourite is Vladimir Putin. And not just because I bear a pasing resemblence to him as I showed here.
He's everything that a Russian leader should be (to an outsider anyway) and has done much to restore Russia's pride and confidence in itself. At uni, I studied Soviet government and it remained a mystery from the start of my course until the end. And the same is true now with Russia. Nominally a democracy, voting is probably not quite as free and fair as it should be...but equally the people end up with the leaders they want. How Putin moved from being President to Prime Minister is an interesting study in the complexities of political manouvering in a deeply complex system. His successor, Medvedev was refered to as a dwarf by several of the Russians we spoke with when we visited. I'm sure Mr Putin is as flawed as anyone, but his action hero antics are fantastic especially when seen in the light of the grey-suited behaviour of other global leaders.
As seen in this video
Or this one:
Or here
At least you know where you stand with him...say the wrong thing and you're likely to end up with a dose of radiation in your coffee....
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
It's all in the timing
There are many things in life that I find frustrating. I could list them all, but if I did you'd probably pigeonhole me as a 'Very Grumpy Old Man'. I may be that, but I'm not prepared to admit it in public yet.
Two of my pet hates are:
1. Parking bays on roads which have double red lines painted. As I understand it, red lines are meant to keep the traffic moving freely. Naturally, as soon as you put a parking bay there, the road is constricted and hold ups are inevitable...in fact they might just as well put parking bays down the entire road as one bay has the same effect as fifty. It's plain common sense to me - you either want a free-running road or you don't.
2. The waiting time frame for deliveries, etc. British Gas seem unable to predict when their engineers will be arriving within a four hour time period, and even then there's a possibility they will cancel at the last minute...British Telecom is similar. I gave up on supermarket home delivery because my 'time slot' was longer than if I went to the shop myself. So it was quite a surprise when I bought some new trainers for The Boy on the interweb and received a text to say they would be delivered between 10.32 and 11.32. They arrived at 11.17, which is good because I'd have sued for many millions if they'd arrived at 11.33...imagine just how inconvenient that would have been.
Tomorrow I shall be writing about Vladimir Putin...nothing to do with timing
Two of my pet hates are:
1. Parking bays on roads which have double red lines painted. As I understand it, red lines are meant to keep the traffic moving freely. Naturally, as soon as you put a parking bay there, the road is constricted and hold ups are inevitable...in fact they might just as well put parking bays down the entire road as one bay has the same effect as fifty. It's plain common sense to me - you either want a free-running road or you don't.
2. The waiting time frame for deliveries, etc. British Gas seem unable to predict when their engineers will be arriving within a four hour time period, and even then there's a possibility they will cancel at the last minute...British Telecom is similar. I gave up on supermarket home delivery because my 'time slot' was longer than if I went to the shop myself. So it was quite a surprise when I bought some new trainers for The Boy on the interweb and received a text to say they would be delivered between 10.32 and 11.32. They arrived at 11.17, which is good because I'd have sued for many millions if they'd arrived at 11.33...imagine just how inconvenient that would have been.
Tomorrow I shall be writing about Vladimir Putin...nothing to do with timing
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Commercial break
Yes, I said I might, and yes I’m going to…
The National Rail Museum sent me a stick of rock to encourage me to write about them. All British boys want to drive a train, so I guess if you’ve got a boy, then why not go? I gather that in Italy all boys want to be a Ferrari racing driver, so if you have Italian blood in the family, I suggest a trip to Modena. Girls? Erm….
Robinsons are currently encouraging kids to break dance. I’d stick to tennis myself….
Land’s End is now following me on Twitter…I expect they do very nice clothes
The Science Museum wants to know ‘What’s your earliest memory?’…evidently if you answer I’ll get lots of new followers. Personally I think it’s Nonsense that I’d be motivated by having more followers (I’d rather have free tickets to the Imax), but I quite like the idea. My early memories are a jumble, so I just don’t know whether it’s standing on a bridge over a gorge in Bavaria is earlier than an autumn gale that was so strong that the window of my bedroom was broken, or perhaps it was chucking a stone at a passing car, or maybe a trip up the Post Office Tower when it was open to the public. You choose, I’ve forgotten.
Natural Balance Foods have launched Nākd – a fruit and nut bar which single-handedly will stop 25% of the nation’s children being obese. It may or may not be nice (I haven’t asked for a sample yet), but I’m pretty sure fat (the government says we are allowed to say that now) children will take the chocolate bar every time. Pass me a marshmallow.
Evidently arm bands aren’t good enough, and kids up to the age of 14 should be wearing Splash Abouts Water Buddies. Personally, I think parents would be better off investing the £30 on swimming lessons during the summer holiday, but you can make your own choice.
Visit South Devon tell me it’s a great place to go for a holiday. Indeed it is…I have friends who live there and plan to pay them a visit. Gay George (who’s not gay at all) has just come back from there and concurs…but he says the locally caught fish is hideously expensive, so eat before you go.
Bottlegreen Elderflower sorbet claims to be the ideal ingredient for a Halloween treat. Please, its August (July when I got the e-mail) and I’d like to get through the summer before I think of things like that. But feel free to send me a sample.
Arena-quantum are an agency that would like to partner with me…so if they really do read this blog, send me some details and I’ll let you know…I have a passionate interest in “travel, healthcare, pets, media, gardening and other areas that may or may not be relevant to your blog”
Wood’s 100 Old Navy Rum think I should be writing about my grandparents…if they send me a bottle I will at least RUMinate about it…
Breffni O'Connor of Polity Marketing wants me to mention a book about whether the Internet is changing children, and will send me a free review copy*
*Free inspection copies are available only to full time lecturers teaching classes of over 12 students for whom the book may be appropriate as a course text.
So I don’t know about children, but the Internet’s ability to allow me to be targeted by hogwash makes me VERY ANGRY
Evidently, six gamers have broken the Guinness world record for non-stop gaming. Evidently they used a Twist Dock to keep their Playstation 3 controllers charged up. I wonder if it comes with a free pair of glasses.
Lauren from Tightsplease says, she “really enjoyed your writing, your sense of humour makes incredibly addictive reading”. Which is nice of her. She’s let me know they have a 50% discount on at the moment, which is good - should The Boy decide to become a cross-dresser.
And finally, Nestle want you to come up with recipes using their nutritious and healthy breakfast cereals. Oops, the competition closed on 31st July…I’d have been more energised to publicise a multi-national with a poor record of social responsibility if they’d sent me some brekkie instead of expecting me to do it for nothing
The National Rail Museum sent me a stick of rock to encourage me to write about them. All British boys want to drive a train, so I guess if you’ve got a boy, then why not go? I gather that in Italy all boys want to be a Ferrari racing driver, so if you have Italian blood in the family, I suggest a trip to Modena. Girls? Erm….
Robinsons are currently encouraging kids to break dance. I’d stick to tennis myself….
Land’s End is now following me on Twitter…I expect they do very nice clothes
The Science Museum wants to know ‘What’s your earliest memory?’…evidently if you answer I’ll get lots of new followers. Personally I think it’s Nonsense that I’d be motivated by having more followers (I’d rather have free tickets to the Imax), but I quite like the idea. My early memories are a jumble, so I just don’t know whether it’s standing on a bridge over a gorge in Bavaria is earlier than an autumn gale that was so strong that the window of my bedroom was broken, or perhaps it was chucking a stone at a passing car, or maybe a trip up the Post Office Tower when it was open to the public. You choose, I’ve forgotten.
Natural Balance Foods have launched Nākd – a fruit and nut bar which single-handedly will stop 25% of the nation’s children being obese. It may or may not be nice (I haven’t asked for a sample yet), but I’m pretty sure fat (the government says we are allowed to say that now) children will take the chocolate bar every time. Pass me a marshmallow.
Evidently arm bands aren’t good enough, and kids up to the age of 14 should be wearing Splash Abouts Water Buddies. Personally, I think parents would be better off investing the £30 on swimming lessons during the summer holiday, but you can make your own choice.
Visit South Devon tell me it’s a great place to go for a holiday. Indeed it is…I have friends who live there and plan to pay them a visit. Gay George (who’s not gay at all) has just come back from there and concurs…but he says the locally caught fish is hideously expensive, so eat before you go.
Bottlegreen Elderflower sorbet claims to be the ideal ingredient for a Halloween treat. Please, its August (July when I got the e-mail) and I’d like to get through the summer before I think of things like that. But feel free to send me a sample.
Arena-quantum are an agency that would like to partner with me…so if they really do read this blog, send me some details and I’ll let you know…I have a passionate interest in “travel, healthcare, pets, media, gardening and other areas that may or may not be relevant to your blog”
Wood’s 100 Old Navy Rum think I should be writing about my grandparents…if they send me a bottle I will at least RUMinate about it…
Breffni O'Connor of Polity Marketing wants me to mention a book about whether the Internet is changing children, and will send me a free review copy*
*Free inspection copies are available only to full time lecturers teaching classes of over 12 students for whom the book may be appropriate as a course text.
So I don’t know about children, but the Internet’s ability to allow me to be targeted by hogwash makes me VERY ANGRY
Evidently, six gamers have broken the Guinness world record for non-stop gaming. Evidently they used a Twist Dock to keep their Playstation 3 controllers charged up. I wonder if it comes with a free pair of glasses.
Lauren from Tightsplease says, she “really enjoyed your writing, your sense of humour makes incredibly addictive reading”. Which is nice of her. She’s let me know they have a 50% discount on at the moment, which is good - should The Boy decide to become a cross-dresser.
And finally, Nestle want you to come up with recipes using their nutritious and healthy breakfast cereals. Oops, the competition closed on 31st July…I’d have been more energised to publicise a multi-national with a poor record of social responsibility if they’d sent me some brekkie instead of expecting me to do it for nothing
Monday, 9 August 2010
2” is enormous
It's not often I laugh uncontrollably...I'm far too serious for that, and don't get drunk often enough. I remember as a little boy, I was watching a Des O'Connor Saturday night show (parents have a lot to answer for don't they?)and seeing a sketch where he was in the bath, and the loofah, the soap dish, etc started being Thunderbirds with accompanying sound effects...he sat there with that surprised look he does so well. I can't remember it that well, or I would understand why it set me off, but it did.
More recently, I was told a true story of a gas meter reader who was locked under the stairs because the owner mistook him for Dobby from from Harry Potter (as you will gather I'm witholding a vital piece of information in this story)...and that set me off. Twice - once when I was told it, and secondly when I tried to retell it over a very serious lunch.
Last week, I was off again when someone was talking about husband beating. Obviously that is a very serious subject, and sorry, but I'm going to fail to tell you why this would get me laughing hysterically. You'll just have to trust me there was a good valid reason.
Yesterday we were in Brighton and stumbled across a new place that has opened...a shop come cafe/restaurant. It sells just three things - lovely wines, gorgeous cured meats and fantastic artisan cheeses. It's in Western Road Hove and is called La cave a fromage. You should pay it a visit. The manager is an absolute character. He comes from the East End and until the start of 2010 was a tree surgeon, and clearly his lack of contact with the human species produces a few quirks.
We were sitting there enjoying a plate of cheese, a plate of meat and a glass each of wine, when someone (an American) came in to complain that the cheese he had bought a day or so before had straw in the middle of it. He had eaten some straw and was not happy. The manager looked at it, turned to his illustrated cheese bible and showed the customer that his cheese should have straw in the middle of it. "But I ate it" protested the customer. "Don't worry" replied the manager, "I expect it will come out the other end".
Exit stage left indignant customer, closely pursued by manager offering a free baguette. In the meantime, I'm rolling on the floor in uncontrollable laughter.
And now back to those 2"
Three weeks ago, I managed to knock over a bottle of iced tea (it was delicious Liptons, mango flavour, if you’re interested, and if they want to send me a crate) during my lunch hour. The mess made BP’s recent antics look as nothing. It devastated my piles of paper…all work in progress of course, and not just unfiled crap, and I spent most of my lunch break clearing up. The top of my desk has a glass panel to protect the wood underneath, and the liquid spread itself between wood and glass. I had to remove everything…piles of paper, telephone, keyboard, mouse, rubber band ball (it’s a big one) and enormous computer screen…to clear up the mess. I then put it all back and carried on working.
Two and a half weeks ago I started getting the most awful back pain. As the day wore on it got worse and worse, to the extent that I wondered whether I would be able to ride the bike home. The lovely Carly who gives an excellent massage had chosen this precise moment to go on holiday with her husband and young offspring. My pleadings did not persuade her to return from Spain. The summer has also brought on hay fever, and a sudden sharp and nasty pain in my big toe suggested that on top of this, gout had returned to haunt me. Life was not good.
Over the following couple of weeks, I tried everything…changing chairs, moving position, travelling on the tube, etc, but nothing would make it better. I was reduced to tears. My mood was grim. Even Carly’s return brought no relief. I racked my brains trying to work out what could be different, or what I could have done to put me in this wretched state.
Sitting at work, staring at my computer I suddenly had a revelation. Without realising it, I had put the screen a couple of inches to the right of where it had been before the spillage incident. Tentatively I moved it back to where it used to be. Almost instantaneously I felt an easing of the pain…and a day later all is well again. I’m not sure about the pain in the toe…but that’s eased as well.
Who would have guessed that a couple of inches would make all the difference?
More recently, I was told a true story of a gas meter reader who was locked under the stairs because the owner mistook him for Dobby from from Harry Potter (as you will gather I'm witholding a vital piece of information in this story)...and that set me off. Twice - once when I was told it, and secondly when I tried to retell it over a very serious lunch.
Last week, I was off again when someone was talking about husband beating. Obviously that is a very serious subject, and sorry, but I'm going to fail to tell you why this would get me laughing hysterically. You'll just have to trust me there was a good valid reason.
Yesterday we were in Brighton and stumbled across a new place that has opened...a shop come cafe/restaurant. It sells just three things - lovely wines, gorgeous cured meats and fantastic artisan cheeses. It's in Western Road Hove and is called La cave a fromage. You should pay it a visit. The manager is an absolute character. He comes from the East End and until the start of 2010 was a tree surgeon, and clearly his lack of contact with the human species produces a few quirks.
We were sitting there enjoying a plate of cheese, a plate of meat and a glass each of wine, when someone (an American) came in to complain that the cheese he had bought a day or so before had straw in the middle of it. He had eaten some straw and was not happy. The manager looked at it, turned to his illustrated cheese bible and showed the customer that his cheese should have straw in the middle of it. "But I ate it" protested the customer. "Don't worry" replied the manager, "I expect it will come out the other end".
Exit stage left indignant customer, closely pursued by manager offering a free baguette. In the meantime, I'm rolling on the floor in uncontrollable laughter.
And now back to those 2"
Three weeks ago, I managed to knock over a bottle of iced tea (it was delicious Liptons, mango flavour, if you’re interested, and if they want to send me a crate) during my lunch hour. The mess made BP’s recent antics look as nothing. It devastated my piles of paper…all work in progress of course, and not just unfiled crap, and I spent most of my lunch break clearing up. The top of my desk has a glass panel to protect the wood underneath, and the liquid spread itself between wood and glass. I had to remove everything…piles of paper, telephone, keyboard, mouse, rubber band ball (it’s a big one) and enormous computer screen…to clear up the mess. I then put it all back and carried on working.
Two and a half weeks ago I started getting the most awful back pain. As the day wore on it got worse and worse, to the extent that I wondered whether I would be able to ride the bike home. The lovely Carly who gives an excellent massage had chosen this precise moment to go on holiday with her husband and young offspring. My pleadings did not persuade her to return from Spain. The summer has also brought on hay fever, and a sudden sharp and nasty pain in my big toe suggested that on top of this, gout had returned to haunt me. Life was not good.
Over the following couple of weeks, I tried everything…changing chairs, moving position, travelling on the tube, etc, but nothing would make it better. I was reduced to tears. My mood was grim. Even Carly’s return brought no relief. I racked my brains trying to work out what could be different, or what I could have done to put me in this wretched state.
Sitting at work, staring at my computer I suddenly had a revelation. Without realising it, I had put the screen a couple of inches to the right of where it had been before the spillage incident. Tentatively I moved it back to where it used to be. Almost instantaneously I felt an easing of the pain…and a day later all is well again. I’m not sure about the pain in the toe…but that’s eased as well.
Who would have guessed that a couple of inches would make all the difference?
Friday, 6 August 2010
First Friday Fotos
I remembered that at the beginning of July I said I would try and start a regular posting of some photos from the previous month on the first Friday of the next one, so here goes. I hadn't realised quite how busy it's been....
The World Cup hadn't even finished, and the book-buying public had already given their opinion:
I went cycling in the Forest with similar success to our football team:
Meanwhile The Shard continues ever-upwards:
And The Cat's Mum and I investigated the back streets of Whitechapel in search of graffiti and found plenty else to see:
We managed a very magical weekend in a very magical part of Spain to go to a very magical wedding:
And not forgetting The Boy who found this interesting sign in Germany...
The World Cup hadn't even finished, and the book-buying public had already given their opinion:
I went cycling in the Forest with similar success to our football team:
Meanwhile The Shard continues ever-upwards:
And The Cat's Mum and I investigated the back streets of Whitechapel in search of graffiti and found plenty else to see:
We managed a very magical weekend in a very magical part of Spain to go to a very magical wedding:
And not forgetting The Boy who found this interesting sign in Germany...
Thursday, 5 August 2010
And now for something completely different...
Привет всем моим русским друзьям
На прошлой неделе я говорил, что я был подвергается цензуре со стороны наших услуг широкополосного доступа в который заблокирован России сегодня ... новостной сайт мне очень нравится и ценность. Я был страстный интерес в России и странах бывшего Советского Союза в течение многих лет ... моей половины степени было принято с Кремлем просмотра (это было за несколько дней до перестройки и гласности), так что мой визит в Москву и Санкт-Петербурге в начале нынешнего года о "поездке времени жизни типа" ... хотя я надеюсь вернуться на более позднем этапе, чтобы исследовать пределы городских границ.
Интересно, что мой блог вызвал число русских посетителей (я с удовлетворением отмечаю), один даже reposting въезда на ее собственном блоге.
Так что я изучал, чтобы увидеть, что говорится в другом месте ... если у вас есть момент здесь некоторые ссылки .
http://m-simonyan.livejournal.com/7842.html
http://cartesius.livejournal.com/friends?skip=30
http://freedomcry.livejournal.com/friends/
http://guliar.livejournal.com/friends?skip=10
http://1yy1.livejournal.com/friends?skip=40
http://santerellina.livejournal.com/friends/
http://prostak52.livejournal.com/friends?skip=20
http://orazaro.livejournal.com/friends?skip=40
http://uhan.livejournal.com/friends
http://valenok-ok.livejournal.com/friends
http://thewhoandzoe.livejournal.com/friends/
http://inetmakers.livejournal.com/friends
http://roland-expert.livejournal.com/friends
http://m-yu-sokolov.livejournal.com/friends
http://soundsimple.livejournal.com/friends
http://sapros.livejournal.com/friends/
Censored
Уже не первый раз коллеги из Британии жалуются, что на работе им перекрывают доступ к нашему сайту. Как обычно, свобода слова свободе слова - рознь.
Вот текст, а вот перевод недавней жалобы
Проверено цензурой
Я подсел на новости. У меня зависимость от новостей… Готов смотреть новости без остановки. Поэтому у меня в закладках Би-би-си (самая точная информация), Evening Standard (новости Лондона), Evening Argus (новости Брайтона), Sky News (если это и не самая точная информация, то, по крайней мере, самая быстрая), Euronews (новости с материка, отделенного от нас Ла-Маншем), France 24 (у них всегда показывают события под особым углом), The First Post (новости и комментарии для комфортного просмотра на диване), Al Jazeera (тоже особая точка зрения), China Daily News (серьезно отличается от всех остальных каналов, а почему бы и нет… очень скоро они станут доминирующей сверхдержавой) и, наконец, Russia Today (к этим ребятам должно быть особое отношение).
Не думайте, что весь день я только и делаю, что читаю… Я просто проглядываю страницы, чтобы ухватить суть, понять, как разные источники освещают события… И, что самое интересное, именно китайские новости смотрят на мир совершенно иначе… но совсем недавно куда-то пропал сайт Russia Today – на моем компьютере, как я ни старался, он не открывался… Сначала я подумал, что с сайтом какие-то неполадки, но он же у меня дома нормально работал… странно…
На прошлой неделе на работе я вызывал компьютерщика, у меня что-то там не работало. И он объяснил мне, что наш Интернет-провайдер заблокировал этот сайт. После каких-то манипуляций с DNS-серверами (не имею понятия, что это такое) я снова смог загрузить новостные страницы с последней фотографией Путина в позе настоящего мачо… Итак, порядок в моем мире новостей восстановлен.
Но теперь я задаюсь вопросом, почему компании блокируют этот сайт… как собственно и любые другие сайты. Значит, это очень просто сделать… а мы, обычные люди, даже ничего не подозреваем. Иногда мне кажется, что наступил тот самый «1984»-й – Саудовская Аравия не разрешает своим гражданам пользоваться Blackberry, потому что власти не могут отслеживать информацию, Apple прославился тем, что начал блокировать контент, который считает неуместным… такое ощущение, что высокие технологии налагают еще больше ограничений, хотя, по идее, должны давать большую свободу… Очень надеюсь, что Мальчик и Кот не вырастут в мире правительственной и корпоративной цензуры. Это было бы ужасно…
You may wish to try Google translate, and bear in mind I have no Russian, so this was English turned into mangled Russian by our friends at Google....
На прошлой неделе я говорил, что я был подвергается цензуре со стороны наших услуг широкополосного доступа в который заблокирован России сегодня ... новостной сайт мне очень нравится и ценность. Я был страстный интерес в России и странах бывшего Советского Союза в течение многих лет ... моей половины степени было принято с Кремлем просмотра (это было за несколько дней до перестройки и гласности), так что мой визит в Москву и Санкт-Петербурге в начале нынешнего года о "поездке времени жизни типа" ... хотя я надеюсь вернуться на более позднем этапе, чтобы исследовать пределы городских границ.
Интересно, что мой блог вызвал число русских посетителей (я с удовлетворением отмечаю), один даже reposting въезда на ее собственном блоге.
Так что я изучал, чтобы увидеть, что говорится в другом месте ... если у вас есть момент здесь некоторые ссылки .
http://m-simonyan.livejournal.com/7842.html
http://cartesius.livejournal.com/friends?skip=30
http://freedomcry.livejournal.com/friends/
http://guliar.livejournal.com/friends?skip=10
http://1yy1.livejournal.com/friends?skip=40
http://santerellina.livejournal.com/friends/
http://prostak52.livejournal.com/friends?skip=20
http://orazaro.livejournal.com/friends?skip=40
http://uhan.livejournal.com/friends
http://valenok-ok.livejournal.com/friends
http://thewhoandzoe.livejournal.com/friends/
http://inetmakers.livejournal.com/friends
http://roland-expert.livejournal.com/friends
http://m-yu-sokolov.livejournal.com/friends
http://soundsimple.livejournal.com/friends
http://sapros.livejournal.com/friends/
Censored
Уже не первый раз коллеги из Британии жалуются, что на работе им перекрывают доступ к нашему сайту. Как обычно, свобода слова свободе слова - рознь.
Вот текст, а вот перевод недавней жалобы
Проверено цензурой
Я подсел на новости. У меня зависимость от новостей… Готов смотреть новости без остановки. Поэтому у меня в закладках Би-би-си (самая точная информация), Evening Standard (новости Лондона), Evening Argus (новости Брайтона), Sky News (если это и не самая точная информация, то, по крайней мере, самая быстрая), Euronews (новости с материка, отделенного от нас Ла-Маншем), France 24 (у них всегда показывают события под особым углом), The First Post (новости и комментарии для комфортного просмотра на диване), Al Jazeera (тоже особая точка зрения), China Daily News (серьезно отличается от всех остальных каналов, а почему бы и нет… очень скоро они станут доминирующей сверхдержавой) и, наконец, Russia Today (к этим ребятам должно быть особое отношение).
Не думайте, что весь день я только и делаю, что читаю… Я просто проглядываю страницы, чтобы ухватить суть, понять, как разные источники освещают события… И, что самое интересное, именно китайские новости смотрят на мир совершенно иначе… но совсем недавно куда-то пропал сайт Russia Today – на моем компьютере, как я ни старался, он не открывался… Сначала я подумал, что с сайтом какие-то неполадки, но он же у меня дома нормально работал… странно…
На прошлой неделе на работе я вызывал компьютерщика, у меня что-то там не работало. И он объяснил мне, что наш Интернет-провайдер заблокировал этот сайт. После каких-то манипуляций с DNS-серверами (не имею понятия, что это такое) я снова смог загрузить новостные страницы с последней фотографией Путина в позе настоящего мачо… Итак, порядок в моем мире новостей восстановлен.
Но теперь я задаюсь вопросом, почему компании блокируют этот сайт… как собственно и любые другие сайты. Значит, это очень просто сделать… а мы, обычные люди, даже ничего не подозреваем. Иногда мне кажется, что наступил тот самый «1984»-й – Саудовская Аравия не разрешает своим гражданам пользоваться Blackberry, потому что власти не могут отслеживать информацию, Apple прославился тем, что начал блокировать контент, который считает неуместным… такое ощущение, что высокие технологии налагают еще больше ограничений, хотя, по идее, должны давать большую свободу… Очень надеюсь, что Мальчик и Кот не вырастут в мире правительственной и корпоративной цензуры. Это было бы ужасно…
You may wish to try Google translate, and bear in mind I have no Russian, so this was English turned into mangled Russian by our friends at Google....
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Playtime for Tara's gallery
It's Wednesday, it's Tara's Gallery time again.
Like all boys, The Boy likes to play rough...he loves cycling in the forest (as do I, but my legs fade a bit more quickly than his). He loves the mud:
And when he's not bombing round the forest, he likes to relax with the guitar. Neither his mum nor I are in any way musical...in fact when I sing in church I get told to hush. I do love listening to music, and introduced him to it from a very early age, but that doesn't explain what his teacher describes as a 'natural' talent'
Of course, playtime comes before tidying his room up...everytime!
Like all boys, The Boy likes to play rough...he loves cycling in the forest (as do I, but my legs fade a bit more quickly than his). He loves the mud:
And when he's not bombing round the forest, he likes to relax with the guitar. Neither his mum nor I are in any way musical...in fact when I sing in church I get told to hush. I do love listening to music, and introduced him to it from a very early age, but that doesn't explain what his teacher describes as a 'natural' talent'
Of course, playtime comes before tidying his room up...everytime!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)