Monday, 16 July 2012

The budgie smuggler

There are some upsides to the dreadful weather we've been having this summer.

Something that causes much discussion, debate and animation in our household is my choice of swim wear.

When I was a young, fit man and would every possible waking minute sunning myself on the beach  at Brighton, I would wear what could only be described as Budgie Smugglers.  Minimum cover, maximum tan.  Why would I wear anything else?

However, as the years have progressed, so has the length of my trunks...from hi-cut, to stretch down to the top of my thighs, and most recently to some that are half way down.  From colourful to modest black.  But not everything has changed.  they're still made of lycra and fit....well, cosily....

For me, they are perfect, in them I am a God amongst men.  An Olympian amongst mere mortals.  I could spend hours strutting my stuff and admiring myself in the mirror.  But, but, but.  All are  not of one opinion.  The Cat covers here eyes and screeches that I am obscene; The Boy is even more embarrassed than usual, and The Cat's Mother, thinks it's time I grew up and wore clothes age appropriate.  What do they know?

It may have been a coincidence, it may have been that they have conspired against me, but a couple of weeks ago I was approached by SimplySwim, who said tat for a mention of their name, they would send me a new pair from their extensive selection here.  This has made everyone happy.  Eventually.  Because everyone wanted a say in which ones I got.  Obviously it was of critical importance to The Cat and The Cat's Mother because they spent hours pouring over the photos of finely honed young men in swim shorts. They must have been considering all aspects of the soon to be acquired swim shorts because I kept hearing the words 'fit' and 'enormous'...I assume they were referring to the vast range available with the last comment.  Various utterances of 'I'd have that one'  I assume meant that they liked quite a lot of the shorts.  I appreciate their sacrifice.  I know they did it all for me.  The Boy tended to side with me in selecting a pair, safe in the knowledge that the words 'tight' and 'figure-hugging' would not be in the description of my acquisition.  Eventually we arrived at a democratic decision - I had four votes, and a pair were requested, duly arriving the next day.

And very nice they are too.  We're all pretty much agreed about that.  All we need now is some sun and a holiday.  The local budgie population can rest easily once more