Hush

Peace and quiet had descended over the home. Or at least an eerie silence. The boy departed on the school classics trip to Sorrento at 4.00 am Saturday morning. He felt the need to rise at 3.00, where as I had a leisurely lie-in until 3.30. Although the schoolis normally within easy walking distance, at that time of day it certainly wasn't. So we drove, having scraped the ice off the windscreen, and it took all of two minutes to get there. I apologise immediately to the environment for my selfish actions in adding unnecesary pollution, but I was tired and cold. All the other parents were gathered. Well actually, all the mums were gathered...clearly the dads had more sense. It's good to see that we live in a world of equality, and no sexual stereotyping exists at all. Whatsoever. In any way. Still, many of them are taking the opportunity to have a few days a way in warm foreign climes whilst their little treasures disgrace themselves in Italy. Foolishly I've allowed work to come before pleasure so will be in the office bright and early on Monday morning.

I returned home, but not to bed. Instead I elected to have hot drink (still on the caffeine free binge until Easter), hot shower, and then jumped on the motorbike to ride to Brighton...about twice as far as I've ever ridden before...so I'm not quite up to going round the world...just yet. It was early enough that I enjoyed the sunrise as I came over the Thames at the Dartford Crossing whilst mother nature did her best to blow me the several hundred (do I exagerate?) feet off the bridge and into the water. I arrived in one piece in Brighton to be met by a scene of indescribable destruction.

Yes, foolishly, I've had electricians in during our absence and a job that was supposed to last four days has already stretched to two weeks, and by the state of the place will go on for at least another seven days. (I know Laura you told me not to do this sort of thing again, but old habits die hard). The flat's on two floors, and the lower one had no power, and there was no TV signal to be found anywhere.

Unfortunately I couldn't head for bed, as I had more visitors due - a decorator, a floor layer and an Italian polished plasterer...all to give quotes. Two out of the three materialised, so at around 11 a.m. my bed beckoned. I rematerailised sometime in the afternoon, but in a completely befuddled state, in which I remained for the rest of the day and evening. So I wasn't much company at Moshi Moshi, but hey ho.

Sunday didn't help, with that lost hour taking it's toll...and now I can't work out whether my lovely Aussie friend is an hour closer or an hour further away. And no doubt by the time I've worked it out, it'll be time to put the clocks back again.

Back in Buckhurst Hill, I realise I've suffered from premature evacuation. It turns out that Jade Goody's funeral and the ensuing media circus is next Saturday, not this one, so my cunning plan to spend the time away has been in vein. I need to come up with plan B, and so far the best I can think of is to ring the TV companies and offer to allow them to park on my drive for an apropriate fee. Or perhaps offer tea and cakes to all those poor journalists who will have to stand outside whilst the service goes on in the church itself. So at £1 a cuppa and biscuits 25p each, I may yet find that I too can join the vultures and turn a profit out of this whole ghastly affair.

Oh and I should mention there was a message on my answer machine froma fellow parent tasked with letting me know the boy and his comrades in arms have all arrived safely. Good to know, even if it's forecast to rain there for the next week.