Thursday, 28 February 2013

Office Dog

Whilst the internet is full of cats, I don't detect the same level of interest in dogs.  I don't mind either way, cat, dog, rabbit...they're all just balls of fur that like their tummy tickled.  I grew up with plenty of dogs, a few rabbits, a number of guinea pigs, a pair of gerbils, a shoal of fish, even the odd budgerigar, and more cats than you'll find in a pharoah's tomb.  So it was very nice when Office Dog moved in.

But, it has to be said that OD is ODD.  He's one sandwich short of a picnic.  No, he's an entire round of sandwiches short.

When he first arrived he wouldn't actually come in the door.  He has a phobia of wooden floors.

Not long afterwards we had Office Cat come to visit for a couple of weeks.  In true cat fashion, OC sat staring at OD daring him to come in for hours.

Eventually, OD was bought neoprene socks.  If I came in wearing latex, there would be a few raised eye-brows I can tell you.  With socks on, he gradually (over the course of several days) dared to put firstly one foot, then another, then the third and finally all of them in the office.  It took a little longer before he would actually walk forwards.

OD leans to the left.  No I don't mean he votes for the Ed Miller Band, I mean he leans to the left.  So when he comes in in the morning, he rubs all along the passage wall on the left.  And when he leaves, he does the opposite.  On a daily basis, this proves difficult because the way the door opens, means that he becomes trapped between wall and open door.  That doesn't help him leave.  At Christmas, the first year, it caused a problem because the Christmas tree  is sited on the left hand wall.  OD couldn't walk round it.  He had to walk through it.  Our twelve days of Christmas were spent picking up broken or bouncing baubles.  So the second year we moved the tree to the other side of the room, away from left or right hand side walls.  Sure enough OD still had to walk through it.

He likes his luxury, so always manages to find a warm patch on the floor, where the underfloor heating is.  I can't blame him for that, as there's many an occasion I would like to curl up in the warm.

Going from one end of the office is erm interesting.  All the desks are along one side of the office - where the windows are.  There's a large area on the otherside, ideal for swinging a cat.  However.  However.  He can't walk through the open area, he has to scrabble under the desks....first in one direction, and then the other when he returns.  Naturally under the desk is where all the cables are.  Daily we have to re-plug the computers into the network.

Food is his one great love.  It always is with labradors, but he is a particular enthusiast.  Indeed, there is a clear hierarchy of love dependent on how much food someone gives him.  The Spanish Girl gives him the most; I give him the least.  He rarely comes to see me and the greetings in the morning are cursory.  Things have changed since I started giving him the odd twiglet or two.

It's been a hard couple of months as the vet has insisted he lost eight kilos.  At least we can feel his ribs now.

You never want to get too close to him after his lunchtime walk.  He has a habit of eating sh*t.  I mean literally eating faeces.

There's only one thing he loves more than food, and that's walking home.  When it's time to go, he's up and off like a rocket...though bare in mind the sixth paragraph above.

The other day he had an almost unfathomable dilemma.  I arrived in the office at lunch time with my lunch, and at the same time also eating their lunch was Andy Pandy, Soon-to-be-mum and There's Lovely Girl (OK, I confess to missing them off my cast list).  The trouble was, it was time for OD to leave.  It was like a short film on a loop, with him running to the door, returning in the hope of food, and then running to the door before returning in the hope of finding some food.  It could have gone on all afternoon if he hadn't been dragged out by his collar.  Evidently he was unusually hesitant on the way home too.....

He barks whenever the door buzzer goes, and sometimes when the phones ring too, and has terrified one of the delivery drivers who comes along every week.  In the office his favourite game is 'peek a boo'.  I hide behind the pillar, occasionally poking my head out out and then hiding again.  This keeps him amiused for hours, and me away from doing what I should be...

So that's the Office Dog....I hope you like him as much as we do