Monday 24 May 2010

The Do's and Dont's of having a German exchange student

1. Obviously don't mention the war. Or the 1966 World Cup. Or that time when we beat them 5-1. Even if they are the only things we've got over them.
2. Don't try and describe coleslaw, say it's made of Kraut, and then blush because you think you've just insulted them
3. Do avoid the newspaper stories about memorials to Bomber Command being erected
4. Do remember they drink coffee not tea
5. Don't take him to the restaurant opposite the Olympic Stadium (H Formans again) and then start talking about German Olympics before realising that neither Berlin 1936 and Munich 1972 were happy times
6. Don 't play the game of 'Name 10 famous Germans' and then realise you can't talk about the obvious one
7. Don't snigger when you realise he looks just like Ron Weasley
8. If you talk in your sleep (which I do) don't start shouting out in German
9. Do get in lots of sausages
10. Do go to a vegetarian restaurant. It's educational
11. Do not speak slowly and loudly in the belief that this will help him understand you. All Germans already speak better English than you ever will
12. Don't accept a delivery of ten ginger wigs which are part of a joke for a friends 50th birthday, and then frantically try and hide them when your (ginger) German walks in the just looks suspicious
13. Do laugh when you realise that both The Boy and The German spend ages blow drying their hair every morning before they come down to breakfast
14. Do put your foot down when all the German contingent decide it would be a great idea to go to Thorpe Park for the day. By themselves.
15. Do remember to tell The boy to remove his history of the second world war from his room.
16. Don't spot it there at the end of the week
17. Do let them go to Camden
18. Do try and steer them away from the shop selling 'Hitler European Tour' 1939-1945 T-shirts
19. Do take them to a friends 50th birthday at The Ivy
20. Don't expect them to know this is anything special
21. Do amuse him by calling The Boy a kartoffel kopf
22. Do look forward to the return visit by The Boy when you will have a week of peace and quiet

From left to right:

The Boys Best Friend - it was his father's 50th, BBF's exchange student, Ron Weasely, The Boy