Friday, 4 December 2009

It's a man's world

I'm concerned that in an all-male household, the boy is failing to grasp some of the important things in life. The things that make a man a man. Take last night, he grumbled he had a sore throat, "It's like I've got a tennis ball shoved down there" he said. He had some Benilyn and at precisely eight minutes past nine took himself to bed. Not a moan or a groan to be heard from him. Naturally I had been alll sympathy and understanding, "Oh dear" was my response. This morning he woke up and got up (before me as usual), managed to shower and fix breakfast before I could utter, "So how are you tthis morning" "Better than last night" he said.

So from this I have deduced that he has failed to grasp the concept of Man Flu. That horribly repelent illness that inflicts us men so badly. Swine Flu is as nothing by comparison. The aches, the pains, the nausea, the prospect of imminent death are all symptons,with only a long-suffering female to tend to your every need (whim) able to alleviate this marauding sickness.

I feel that the issue needs to be addressed in some way. But which way, or when I'm just not sure. After all I have no intention of taking over the role of Florence. But if he doesn't understand the rules, how on earth will he be able to grow up, marry and make someone's life entirely miserable....or at least a life of servitude and inequality?

Whilst the boy was suffering his own misery, I managed to avoid mine. Last night was ironing night. It was ironing night because the airing cupboard is full to overflowing with shirts, socks and man pants. Only the former get ironed. It is a task I loathe and despise above all others in my life. I do it as infrequently as possible, and then always under protest. Last night I incentivised myself by having a tumbler of red wine, known in our house as Vino Collapso. As it turned out that didn't motivate me. Nor did the big tub of Ben and Jerry's Pfish Food that followed. In fact I was tipsy and full, and went to bed with the entire pile left in the airing cupboard. Any volunteers?

17 comments:

  1. yup - hubby been away 2 weeks, not a stitch of ironing in the house - I am bizarrely missing it. just drop it round.

    (ps : did you actually look in boys throat? maybe he is actually not well and is now having to suffer and get on with it in the way a woman does - perhaps he has picked up that role in the house! Please give him a teeny pick of sympathy and allow him to hone his man flu skills or you will just be throwing flies into the evolutionary ointment)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not me, but if you find anyone send them over to my house. I have clothes in our airing cupboard that were washed sometime back in the summer and are still waiting to be ironed, when i am in the mood for it (which at the moment is never!!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would volunteer, but you've eaten the Ben and Jerry's. Had you still had some, I'd be there like a shot. And I'd bring my own iron too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pay someone else to do it, I believe you can have scantily clad young women (or men) come to your house and do your ironing for the paltry sum of £35 per hour...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mine has been sitting in the pile so long that it has accumulated dust and now needs to be washed again.

    This is why I love wrinkle-free knits.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kellogsville - I'm on my way...I always give him sympathy...erm, erm, erm
    Rosiero - that's worse than me!
    Madame - have just popped out and got some more Ben and Jerry's...so you can come round now. Right now, please
    AG - I like your thinking, seems a bargain
    muummmmeeeee...pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze
    Sonya - you're bad....

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