Friday, 24 June 2011

Tramp in armour

I think you had to be there at the time, but hey, here goes...

I was sitting at my desk

At the other end of the office DogGirl (she owns the office dog, I'm not being rude)

I'd removed one shoe because I had rubbed a blister in the morning

DogGirl beckoned me to explain there was someone for me

I stood up and hobbled across the office to be greeted by a German tramp. A little way behind him stood a man who looked like The Cat's Mother's ex

I knew he was a tramp by his attire and the bloody cut on his chin and that skin tone which indicates a life lived outside. I knew he was German when he started to speak. It was very, very 'Ello 'ello, but thicker.

In his hand he had a package

He rattled on for a few minutes with me nodding and smiling. About what I had no idea. I couldn't understand more than one word in ten

Eventually I cut in and asked if the package was for me. It was. So I took it.

He continued and I caught that at one time he had been a designer for games software company UBI Soft, but they were taken over by the French and as he was German he got booted out. I said it was normally the other way round. He agreed and said he knew 'blitzkreig'.

I still didn't know what was going on.

My mobile on my desk rang and I rushed to pick it up. Hobble, hobble, hobble. But missed the call. So I returned to my German tramp. Hobble, hobble, hobble. Around the office everyone was looking puzzled.

The German continued until I asked if I should open the package. Yes he said, I hope it's not a bomb. I did. A smart yellow box with a couple of USB sticks in...a gift from a company called WinkBall who will video your event and then post it around various social media channels.

After some ushering from me, I managed to get him and his lurking friend out of the office. As I hobbled around, one boot on, one boot off.

Just then my mobile rang again...a friend from round the corner just checking that I was OK "Not bound and gaged?" as he'd just had a couple of odd characters in looking for me.

Uuuurgh...odd, really odd...

Thank heavens The Cat's Mother and I had two very nice glasses of Rioja at our new local tapas bar later.