Tuesday 27 July 2010

Desk diary

First there was Weird John

Then there was Mad Maria. She rented the same desk, "We may need two you know!" she cheerily said as she set up her 'Sustainable Marketing' Consultancy from our office. Well when I say from our office, I mean she paid the rent and spent her days drinking coffee with friends at the local cafe 100 yards down the road. When she was here, she spent her time playing games on her computer, chatting to friends and organising her holiday photos. Unless she had organised a meeting. She seemed to have a LOT OF THOSE. They went on noisily all day, but never seemed to achieve anything. She did organise a few hundred hessian bags to promote her business. They sat in the bottom of a cupboard until the day she left.

Gorgeous George and Gay John (who also work in our office) didn't take to her...from their days as estate agents they vaguely remembered selling her a property. It had been a difficult transaction. It may have been foolish of Gay John to mention how very, very small her house was. And situated in a very peculiar area. Gorgeous George is really just George, happily married father of one. Gay John is not gay at all, but so called because he once bought a fake designer scarf - it was red when he pruchased it, but turned pink in a matter of days. He insisted on wearing it.

We wondered about her 'ethical' approach to life when she came in pleased as punch one day. Her neighbours were having some work done, and Maria wouldn't let the builders carry some ladders across her garden unless they paid £250. After some heated discussion she got her £250. I expect the neighbours turned up their music very loud everyday after that.

She wouldn't contribute to the toner and paper costs for the printer. "I've only printed one page you know", but would happily say, "Can I make a quick call on your phone because my battery is low" and "I'll just send this fax"....

So Maria went.

Mad Maria was replaced by Super Suzanne. At the same desk. Suzanne the Creative Director of a Lighting Consultancy. Suzanne was in and out, cheery and friendly. We like Suzanne. She's busy. She's enthusiastic. Suzanne always has a smile to warm the cockles of your heart.

But oh woe. The project she's involved in needs her on site for the next few months. So Suzanne is going. She's only been here a month. The lovely be-wedded Girl from Spain (she's actually half Peruvian and half Italian, but don't let the detail get in the way) has been away becoming a Mrs and having a honeymoon, and has never met Super Suzanne. We are all quite sad.

So I don't know what it is about this desk, but t seems to have the evil eye. Some sort of juju. Or some voodoo. We think we should have it exorcised. Or perhaps move it to improve the Feng Shui. But something's got to change 'cos we'd like to have a nice person who wants to keep us company during our working hours....