Thursday 12 November 2009

City life

Do you remember the days when the worst people in the world were estate agents, or perhaps lawyers or even PR people? Those were simple times. It was easy to know who to focus your venom on. But of course, in the last eighteen months a lot has changed. We're all unemployed, saddled with houses which are worth half of what we paid for them, and can't afford to go abroad on holiday because our £1 is worth thruppence ha'penny. And now the very worst people in the world are bankers, and everyone who works in the world of finance. High finance has become low finance, but the bankers and their supporting cohorts continue to rake in their millions. Is it any wonder we hate them. Surely though not all these people can be monsters? Or can they? I'd like to share with you some correspondence over the last 24 hours:

Dear Mr Nota Bene,

Regarding Council Tax account 12345678

I need to contact the named person below who, according to my records, was a tenant and previously lived at 'rented flat'

Mr Former Tenant

According to our records the above is liable for Council Tax from 03-NOV-2007 to 07-MAY-2008.

Please can you confirm a forwarding address and any other contact details Mr Former Tenant?

Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated and I thank you for your co-operation, please reply by return of this e-mail.

Best Regards

Revenues Officer

Revenues Collection Company
Lake House
Shared Service Centre
Phoenix Road
LA14 2UG


These are the contact detail I have, although they may now be out of date:

Former Tenant
Banking Business (UK) Inc
Paternoster Square
office: +44 (0)20 1234 5678
mobile: +44 (0) 7890 123 456

kind regards

Dear Nota Bene,

Thanks very much for your help.

It’s much appreciated.


Revenues Officer

Dear Mr Former Tenant,

I am writing with regard to unpaid council tax for 'rented flat', account ref 12345678. There is an outstanding balance of £ 246.40 on your account for the period you were a tenant at the property, from 03-NOV-2007 to 07-MAY-2008.

Please telephone 020 1234 5678 to arrange payment of the outstanding balance.

When making any payment you must quote your Council Tax account reference 12345678. Failure to make contact with me and make full payment of the outstanding balance will result in me applying for an Attachment of Earnings Order where I will deduct the outstanding balance direct from your wages from your employer, Bankingcompany (Uk) Inc, to recover the outstanding balance.

Please do not hesitate to contact me should you need any further information with regard to the above.


Revenues Officer

From: Former Tenant
Sent: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 12:05 PM
To: 'Revenue Officer'
Subject: RE: Council Tax account reference 12345678

As I am no longer an employee in England, that would be challenging indeed for you to deduct wages from there!

I have the paperwork proving that I paid the full 6 months that I lived at Rented Flat. Please let me know where to fax the paperwork and I will do so within the next few days. Most of my paperwork is still in boxes from my move, so it will take me a few days to locate it.

Additionally, please send me the dates of the balance as well as an invoice for precisely what is being charged in the event that I was no longer even a tenant for the period in question.

Former Tenant

Thanks, Nota. I’ll make sure that I have them hound you down for the 6 day gap between the time that my lease legally ended and the time the new tenants lease began.

The best part about this being that I had previously paid the full balance and have proof. But since you seem more than willing to create headaches for me, I will return the favor.

Kind regards,

Former Tenant

Former Tenant,

I'm sorry if you feel that way. I am legally obliged to give them your contact details. If you have paid there is nothing for you to worry about, merely supply the information they need. Their language can be quite aggressive, but that is the nature of English local government. I am so sorry you have reacted in this way as their [sic] was absolutely no malice on my part.

Kind regards

Nota Bene

Yes, and I'm sure the law requires you to divulge my email address. Right. Let's play ball, nota. You want trouble. Then I'll give you trouble. Now I just need to figure out new ways to screw you over. Don't worry... I'm creative!!!

And can you not use correct personal pronouns. English is YOUR language, yet you use it so poorly. That makes me sad.

-Former Tenant

Hi Former Tenant.

I'm not sure what has provoked this outburst from you. However, in the circumstances, I shall pass your threat on to my lawyer, and will also, if necessary, pass a copy of your e-mails to your employer.

Again, I can only repeat that if you have paid there is nothing for you to worry about.


Nota Bene

Lol. My threats? That is funny. I just believe in equalization.

- Former Tenant


  1. Goodness - what a kerfuffle! Hound him down indeed - he seems like a bit of a plonker!

  2. Blimey, what we have there is a grade 1pillock by the sounds of it.

  3. And to think people like that are in charge of thousands' of people's hard-earned cash.....

  4. It's lucky for you that he became an ex-tenant before he got nasty!

  5. I feel it is our public duty to ensure that every member of society is paid what is rightfully due and I suspect your ex(tenant) is about to receive an awful lot of what he is due. ;0)

  6. Thanks to you all for the comments. True to my word I forwarded the e-mail thread to Mr Campagna's boss. The boss telephoned me this morning to apologise. I guess Mr Campagna won't be having such a great Christmas.

  7. Who rattled his cage?

    Seems your only mistake was to neglect to send him a friendly e warning him the council people might be in touch to clarify his tenancy dates etc.

    I have to do similar every day of my life - passing on details of ex students to utility companies, informing them, batting against their ire (even when guilty of not paying a bean all year) etc.

    Sometimes it is hard to get out of bed in the mornings! On the plus side I am on the verge of winning a battle against a parking ticket (despite all my details in the windscreen of who I was, why I was there, how long I was going to be, how to contact me if there was a problem etc'). In the old days they weren't supposed to ticket you without first trying to contact you!

  8. you're a nice neighbour

  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

  10. do you do it!

    Anonymous...fortunately I was his landlord, and if he doesn't pay, I do. And my charitable donations go to the needy, not overpaid, psychopathic city boys


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