Sunday 26 July 2009

Say cheese!

contains mild horror

We've not been down to Brighton much this year...growing pains and the need for the boy to see more of his friends here in sunny Essex, as well as an ongoing builder saga (of which more later) have seen to that.

It's about six weeks since I last dragged the boy down, but I managed to escape to the coast a fortnight ago (when he was yomping over the Downs). It was sunny enough for me to spend a couple of hours on the beach with a picnic from Tescos - some melon pieces, sausage rolls, a drink of apple juice and two bags of mixed cheeses (they were on offer). Most of it got eaten, but the cheese was too much so was dropped on the kitchen table when I got home.

We returned to Brighton on this Friday evening early enough to see the end of Hotel Babylon and to be feeling a little peckish. I wandered into the kitchen to find the cheese - yes it had been left there forgotten over the warm previous fourteen days and nights. Naturally, I shoved it in the fridge for five minutes before deciding I was actually really hungry. So I took it out, gave it a swift sniff (yes it smelled of cheese) and peeled open the camembert as I sat on the sofa. Three crumbs of rind fell on my T-shirt so I picked one up and dropped it in my mouth, before looking down to pick up the other two crumbes. They were moving. They were wriggling. I screamed a girlie hysterical scream. The cheese was crawling.

Yes I'd eaten a maggot.

I still feel sick.


  1. Argggggghhhhhhhhh!
    Am reading this just before bedtime so am bound to have some kind of maggots crawling in my bed kind of dream. Thanks for that!

  2. Now that's unpleasant.

    You do realize that there will be a fly hatching in your stomach right now don't you?

  3. Gross. Gross. Gross. I ate one when I ate a radish and have never looked a radish in the eye since. Yuck.

  4. did you eat a whole maggot or half a maggot? I feel this is an important point to cover!!!

    That is just so gross, just the thought of it is gross let alone actually having done it - euuuuuuugh.

  5. Tara...sorry - but don't worry I ate the maggot so it won't be crawling in your dream

    Mud - just as cheese should be

    Dan - that's cruel, very cruel

    Gwen - oh yes; thank you

    Tim - erm I'm suffering PTSD so can't remember

    Madame - radishes are best left alone

    Kellogsville - there's only one thing worse than eating a whole maggot; eating half a maggot

  6. Oh God, I feel sick now. And Dan - really - that's just GROSS.


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