Monday 10 October 2011


I'm not sure where the communication broke down, and this picture may not reveal everything it should, so I will explain.

Here are some traffic lights. They're just by a new block of flats. There's two things of importance. One they're right by someone's bedroom, so all night their room will be illuminated, red & amber, green, amber, red red & amber, green...and so on. And the second thing is, the traffic lights are crooked. Yes, someone has had to push them over to an angle more befitting Pisa than Bermondsey. For the last several months I've been watching and waiting for the council to come and move them. I'm betting the builders have too. Or may be not. Perhaps the building dimensions are wrong. Perhaps there's been a mis-calculation. But someone has had to push the lights over slightly just so they could build the building. It's finished now, and the flats are ready to be sold. I want to see the estate agent's details.

I hope you understand there is a delicious sense of irony that today was crime awareness day in Islington, and whilst half a dozen PCs handed out leaflets about how to keep your property safe, someone was trying to steal my motorbike, less than one hundred yards away. In the middle of Islington High Street (confusingly known as Upper Street) during the middle of the lunch hour. That screw in the ignition system will cost me a thousand pounds. So I'm a loser. The would-be thief is a loser as he didn't get the bike. The Police are losers as this will go down as an unsolved crime. So it's lose, lose all round.

I've never paid for sex, but this feels like a £1000 screw, and I can tell you it doesn't feel good.

At the same time I was being interviewed for TV, and if you want you can see me on Thursday evening. I don't know which channel, and I'm not sure what time, and I've never watched the programme, so if you can work it out, let me know. It was a consumer programme about Bank accounts. It wasn't Oscar winning stuff I do know that.