The Cat's Mother is an expensive item. And a bad driver. Evidently.
It's time for me to renew my car insurance, so I've been comparing meerkats. I can't remember how much I paid last year, but this year it's £439 and a few pence. Inspite of my impecable driving record being extended by yet another 365 days of accident free motoring, I still have to pay an enormous sum. But on checking my details, I realised that I was down as divorced/separated, so I ticked the box that said I was co-habiting. I expected it to make no difference, but in fact it meant my insurance went up by a pound. So £440 and a few pence. Now I may be wrong, but as I understood it, living with some one was supposed to be a less stressful experience. I certainly remember (or rather don't remember) some pretty wild experiences after my divorce, and I'd say I was a less responsible person. I may even have read that co-habiting is good for men as they live longer, whilst it knocks a little bit off a woman's lifespan. So I should be quids in. I'm not. I'm a whole pound out. Imagine what I could do with that pound. That's a whole packet of crisps and a Mars Bar. I then thought I should add The Cat's Mother to my insurance. And as I'm very bored with hearing, women are better drivers than men. The Cat's Mother has a clean driving licence and an impressive no-claims history. So surely, surely the cost should go down...even if she drives the car just one day a year, that's one day a year when the risk is less? Perhaps they've seen her reversing technique. It's available as a viral on the interweb. Maybe. Anyway, it put the insurance up by another pound. That's another whole pound. Imagine what I could do with two whole pounds. Because I can't.
So there we have it, in my dying days as a forty-something I have learnt that women make you a worse driver and are pretty dangerous on the road themselves. It's something I've always suspected. That should get me a long way.
I'm not even going to say what happened when I tried to see what would happen if I delayed until after my birthday. It's quite a saga.
