Friday 10 December 2010


My weekly celebrity round-up.

OK, I know I've never done it before, and never will again, but here it is.

Whilst I'm not claiming any responsibility, the charmingish Nick Cave crashed his car at the bottom of our road and you can see his misfortune here. The Daily Mail had the best headline, 'Nick Cave and the Bad Speeds'.

I rather liked that song he did with Kylie.

On TV, there is an arts presenter. He always gets good write ups in the press. But I can't stand the man. He is a complete idiot, absolutely self-centred and totally egotistical. How do I know? A few years ago The Boy and I went on a skiing trip with a large group of people, most of whom we didn't know. He was among them, and couldn't stop talking about clever he was. On the slopes, our instructor described him as out of control, dangerous and likely to kill someone, but that didn't slow him down. We stopped one day at a restaurant that, bizarrely had an amazing wine cellar. He described one wine which was being sold for €20,000 as an absolute bargain. My blood boils every time he pops up on the Beeb.

On Facebook I've de-friended Barack Obama. We weren't that close anyway. But when he swept into power on a wave of optimism that he would change the world I signed up. Obviously there was too much hype for him ever to live up to, but I had thought he would make a difference. He hasn't and nor do I think he will. In fact his impressive oratory skills and lack of action remind me of Mr Blair. Let's hope he doesn't take us into war...although both Iran and North Korea must be in his sights....oh dear.

And talking of Mr Blair, I'm going to see the bastard. I mean man. Earlier this year I was supposed to see him at the Iraq Inquiry, but my ticket was lost, and in spite of my best efforts, several burly security guards wouldn't let me through to where a duplicate was waiting for me. The psychopath, I mean former Prime Minister, has been recalled to fill in some gaps in his evidence, and this time the Inquiry Secretariat has promised me, promised me, that I will get in. I suspect I could be there a very long time as in my mind the gaps are yawning great chasms. I will have to sit on my hands, and make sure that my shoe laces are tied very tightly.

I had a magical moment this week. Whilst walking through one of the small, formal parks in Bermondsey, I noticed that a squirrel was scurrying around, but as I walked closer he didn't run away. So I stopped, went down on one knee and held my hand out. After some hesitation. In fact a lot of hesitation he came to me. I was amazed...I guess with the snow and ice on the ground food is a little scarce so it may have been hunger-motivated. But it was lovely. Really lovely.