Gooseberry fool

It became increasingly difficult to work ou what was happening for the boy's birthday. In desperation, the suggestion that I pick up the tab for a Pizza Express celebration with a few of his closest friends seemed the best bet...but it was only on the morning of the event that he confirmed it was actually happening. Not a problem, other than I was up north...so later that day a somewhat stumbling phone call to said restaurant led to agreement that the boys would be welcome and a phone call would result in suitable amounts being deducted from my bank balance. An early departure, meant that I rolled up at the meal mid-Four Seasons. Smiles all round, but clearly I was not part of the gang and never would be....and horror of horrors there was a GIRL there. It was the mythical Jasmine...someone much talked about and who has caused me much expense on telephone bills. Much mumbling and embarassment and I made my excuses, returning only when summoned like the minicab service I am destined to be for the next half decade.